Friday, 11 March 2011

Dear ANet: I hate you

Dear ANet,

Are you freaking kidding me? I mean, are you actually joking? I could have handled it if the pistols created a sound akin to a pea shooter (ala DC Universe Online). But they sound like blunderbusses, blasting out hot molten fragments of joy:

I mean, the Ranger might still have stood a chance if they couldn't use bows... or even if their uses of bows was laboured and thrown in to appease the old school ninja fans. Instead, they fire explosives? Like Rambo?! What are you trying to pull? This isn't fair. I'm a Ranger through and through... he's so cute; just look at him... all tiny and harmless and then wham explosives in your face! And he uses the bow to shadow step! To shadow step, people!

Perhaps their melee damage will be lacklustre and uninteresting, yeah, that'll do it - then I can retreat back to the safe haven of the Ranger. But no - your mockery is relentless. Shazam, Leaping Death Blossom. I mean, I saw it in the video which Rubi had posted - but, but... its so beautiful. These guys didn't stand a chance:

Oh yeah, and thanks for bringing back childhood nightmares of watching Home Alone - remember that bit where the the fat one in the Wet Bandits steps on a nail?

I want to do that to people. I want that. It's so deliciously vindictive.

Then, the coup de gras... the predator-esque stealth mode. I'll be stalking my enemies, and they'll be all like
"he's in the trees..." 
and then the other guy will be all
"no, he IS the trees..." 
and then one of them will shout


By that point, its too late... no amount of rippling muscles smothered in mud or bamboo spikes will stop me. I'll snap the first guys left leg off below the knee and use it to beat his friends to death.

I hate you ANet. You've just made my profession choice that much harder.

Kindest regards,




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